Holy shit, Kelis has a dog’s body! A DOG’S BODY! And that’s not even a metaphor – it’s the truth. If you open up the booklet that accompanies the CD that is Flesh Tone, you will see Kelis wearing a motherhugging dog’s body. Not sure what this has to do with the album exactly, but let’s draw the correlation here: this is not what we expected Kelis to come up with.

What would have been more predictable is the fierce singer screaming at us, “I hate you so much right now!” underneath a dope Neptunes beat. It also would have been more fitting, seeing as though the single mother of one is going through some baby daddy (aka Nas dramz right now, aka did he pay the child support or not?).

But no, Kelis is a mature woman with a dog’s body, and would much prefer turning her anger into dance music. As in, really Euro-white party-massive-fuck-off-stadium dance music. At some level David Guetta and Benny Benassi must know what they’re doing, right? I mean, they’ve won Grammys.

Admittedly if you turn your stereo up to Fully Sick you may want to jab your fist in the air and/or do body-pump to Flesh Tone, but to me that kind of defeats the purpose of having Kelis sing on the track in the first place. She’s smokin’. She’s goddamn sexy. It’s her album – she should be centre-stage. So it’s just too bad that the production on ‘Scream’ indicates ‘sweaty shirtless whistle-blowing white dude’ and that her message on ‘Emancipation’ (“Emancipate yourself / Emancipate yourself / Emancipate yourself / Emancipate yourself” etc, etc) has been presumably been dumbed down from its original genius to fit into the obligatory repetitive nature of dance hooks.

Though perhaps at this stage it doesn’t really matter. Because sure enough Kelis will sell enough albums simply because she’s Kelis, and more importantly, SHE HAS A DOG’S BODY. (A dog’s body.)

More at iamkelis.com.   via: www.lifelounge.com